Chapter 47

Nellie has been living with her mother for a couple of weeks now. She hasn’t heard a word from Stefan since she left and she is beginning to lose hope. As painful at is feels to her, it seems their marriage might be over. The more important it is that she can support herself and the children and she is lucky to find a job at the pub quite soon.



It is not what she is trained for and she often has to work late, but she can earn quite a bit extra on tips and that is good money. She finds her colleagues nice and friendly and soon feels at home. After all she grew up here and knows almost everyone – both guests and colleagues.



Nellie’s mother is happy to take care of the children while Nellie is at work. The relation between Marion and her daughter has become so much better these last couple of weeks.
“I didn’t appreciate motherhood as I should have”, she tells Nellie. “You know how I always told you that I had to give up my career when I got pregnant- you’ve felt the blame no doubt and I am so very sorry for that. I hope I can make it up to you by helping you have your career back. Looking after the children is no sacrifice at all. Quite the opposite, it is a blessing!”



Meanwhile Stefan is starting to lose hope as well. It doesn’t seem that Nellie will regret leaving him after all; he hasn’t heard a word from her since she left. Without Nellie and the kids the apartment feels very quiet and empty and Stefan still spends as much time away from home as possible. But clubbing is no fun anymore and the attention he gets from the women he meets, makes him feel uncomfortable instead of flattered. Clearly they think he is single, but he stills sees himself as a married man and there is a hole inside of him growing for each day.



His family is missing and without them he has no purpose. He starts to realize that he must take hold of himself and make Nellie want to come back.



So he starts cleaning up at home.





And then one evening Nellie finally calls, but she doesn’t want to come back. Instead she tells him that she planning to file for divorce and that they should start thinking about custody and visitation rights.
“The kids need their father. Don’t you miss them at all?”
Stefan realizes that he has done pretty much everything wrong and that he is about to lose what is most important to him.
“Please, please don’t file for divorce!” he begs Nellie. “Give me another chance, let’s meet and talk before you make any decisions.”



At last he understands that they need to talk! Nellie feels relief wash through her, making her knees feel weak. But she tries very hard not to show that to Stefan. He needs to sweat a little now, fight for her and for their marriage. She lets him beg for a while before she “reluctantly” agrees to meet him the next day.
“I am working the early shift, you can pick me up after I have finished.”



The next day Stefan comes to pick Nellie up after work and they drive to the diner instead, for a civilized talk over dinner. At first the atmosphere between them is awkward and none of them knows what to say or where to begin, but then Stefan decides to take a plunge.
“Why do you want to leave me? What went wrong?”
“For starters: We should have had this conversation a long time ago!” Nellie tells him. “I tried to talk to you so many times, but it seemed to me that you didn’t want to listen.”
“I’ll listen now, I promise!” Stefan says.



And in fact he keeps quiet and listens to everything Nellie has to tell him – and there is a lot, she has been building up for very long. Even if he still can’t comprehend a lot of what she is telling him, he keeps quiet and listens until Nellie can’t find anything more to say.
“Why don’t you say anything?” she asks him.
“To be honest, I’m scared that I will say the wrong thing”, Stefan admits. “There is a lot that still makes me very confused, but I will try to understand – I will! I promise! We’ll have to talk more, that’s all.”
“That is a start,” Nellie says. “Let’s go from there. Now come with me to my mom’s place and meet the children.”



Marion greets Stefan politely but he can see that she feels very distrustful towards him. However she keeps in the background and lets Nellie and Stefan spend time together with the children. Seeing the children again, being with his family makes Stefan wonder why he could ever let them leave. His stubborn waiting for Nellie to regret her actions seem rather childish to him now. What a stupid thing to do. They are his life, and he is determined to do what it takes to make Nellie want to be with him again. She stills has feelings for him, even if she tries very hard not to show too much. That gives him hope, but he will take it slow and give her time. When they part they both feel that something new has begun.



At Bramble College the end exam time is approaching, but as busy as everyone is with their studies there still is time for fun. So much has changed since they came here. Sandra and Jules are good friends now, joined in their interest for training.



Sandra has also become very good friends with Diana. They can talk for hours.



To Jules’ surprise, Sandra’s old boyfriend Andy starts to show interest in her. At first she is afraid that Sandra will mind, but when Jules asks her she shrugs and says that it is completely o.k. for her.



Jules is not sure what she feels about Andy. He is very handsome and sexy – and a bit overwhelming. She can’t keep up with him, he is so intense. So when he pushes forward and wants to take their relationship to the next level, Jules pulls the break and wants to wait. She is not ready for this. After all – she hasn’t had sex with anyone yet and she wants to be sure about her feelings first.



But Andy does not want to wait. He immediately loses interest in Jules and breaks up with her. “This is too immature to me, I want an adult relation,“ he tells her. The fact that Jules never really knew what she felt for him, doesn’t make that any less hurtful. It is clear what he was after, and she feels humiliated for not realizing that at once. She feels inexperienced and childish.



Andy finds someone else soon enough. Within days he starts dating a cheerleader and as that relationship seems to run smoothly, the new girl probably is more in Andy’s league. Jules shouldn’t care, she knows that, but it still hurts that he moves on so quickly.



“Forget about him!” Brenda tells Jules. “He is not worth any tears. You’ll meet someone else.”
But that is easy for her to say, Jules thinks. Brenda and Ralph have been going steady a long time now and will get married as soon as they have graduated.



Life at home in the dorm seems less and less attractive to Jules. There she tries to avoid Andy as much as possible and still worries about bumping into him and his new girlfriend unexpectedly. It doesn’t make anything better that Keith, that she stills can’t help dreaming about, seems to really enjoy the company of Diana.



So Jules starts to spend most of her free time at the secret society instead.



It didn’t disturb Sandra the least that Jules dated Andy for a while, but the fact that Diana and Keith get along so well is not that easy to get used to. Something starts to stir inside of her.



In fact she feels quite depressed.